


Student Accommodations

by Persephone_Kore



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Friendship, Gen, University, apartment search
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 15:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1987503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persephone_Kore/pseuds/Persephone_Kore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Klaus was, like everyone with any sense, planning to avoid the Heterodyne and his brother when they showed up at Transylvania Polygnostic University. Then he actually meets them... and his apartment building blows up. (It wasn't their fault! They weren't even there!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Student Accommodations

There was an open space moving along the otherwise crowded streets of Beetleburg, and Klaus -- laden with groceries and a few personal experimental supplies -- stepped into it with relief before considering the possibility that it might surround something better avoided. It surrounded, in fact, two young-looking students trailed by a low-to-the-ground clank that looked like a luggage-bearing centipede studded with trilobites. 

"The question," the shorter of the two boys was saying, "is whether they really don't have any space and are afraid of what we'll do when they tell us, or if they're telling us that because they're afraid of us."

"Yes, but we can hardly ask them that," said the other. "I don't think it would be very reassuring. Maybe Judy's having better luck." And they both looked over at Klaus, who was suddenly the person nearest them and just as suddenly aware that these had to be the Heterodyne brothers _everyone_ had been planning to avoid. 

The previous Lord Heterodyne had died rather suddenly in early spring. Rumors had immediately flown; the most popular and the most likely was that his wife had killed him. No Jägers had marched on her town, at least not yet, but in midsummer all prior and prospective Transylvania Polygnostic students had received discreet letters explaining that the new Lord Heterodyne had announced he and his brother would be attending. It was a measure of both the university's prestige and the widespread curiosity that matriculation had only dropped a little. 

Klaus met their eyes in turn and was caught by their expressions. Despite the somewhat discouraging topic of conversation, they looked... enthusiastic. And yet also oddly hopeful. 

He made up his mind abruptly and stepped toward them instead of away. "If you've been talking to landlords, they're almost certainly telling the truth. Some will have all their rooms spoken for by the end of the previous term." He paused and made a brief effort to rearrange his parcels, then sighed and gave up on it. "I'm Klaus Wulfenbach. I'd offer to shake hands, but I think it's hopeless."

"I'm Bill." The sudden grin was startlingly infectious. "This is Barry. And we can help with that!" Klaus was opening his mouth to demur when Bill continued, "Are you carrying anything that shouldn't be magnetized?"

Klaus blinked and ran through a mental list of his purchases. "I don't believe so," he said, intrigued, "but I'm carrying a number of things that I didn't think _could_ be." 

Barry extracted a small device from the bag slung over his shoulder and hooked it onto the string tying one of the parcels. Klaus watched with interest as it whirred to life and began glowing blue, then felt a faint but steadily increasing tug. Cautiously, he shifted his load and found that it was, in fact, stuck together, exactly like a string of magnets. Whereupon he piled everything more or less into one arm and shook hands after all, while Barry grinned triumphantly. 

"I hope this isn't a permanent effect," Klaus said, "or unpacking is going to be very difficult." 

"There's an off switch." Barry twisted the string so Klaus could see it. "I won't demonstrate or we'll drop everything." He looked up. "Say, I don't suppose _your_ landlord has any rooms left?"

"We need two, I'm afraid," Bill added. "Punch and Judy are married."

That was a disconcerting thought, even if the conversation thus far had not been especially alarming. It was also probably a moot point. "I don't think so, sadly," he said, then, "Wait. _Punch and Judy?_ " Were they--

Bill grinned, looking faintly sheepish. "We were still in the madness place when we named them."

They were. Klaus rubbed the spot between his eyebrows and tried to think how to suggest that a pair of Heterodynes had made a social misstep, preferably in a way that was likely to lead to prompt action and tactful enough not to lead to violent prompt action. On second thought, he'd never been very good at tact, and they already thought he was critiquing the names. "You sent constructs around looking for lodgings?"

Bill's eyebrows drew together. "Well, yes...?"

"We thought it'd be faster to split up," Barry said, sounding puzzled. "Is there a problem?"

"A lot of people are afraid of constructs, too," said Klaus. "Or assume they're idiots." Admittedly some _were_ \-- not every Spark was as skilled as his parents, and even they had been lucky to get _him_ back with identity, intelligence, and memory mostly intact. Starting with a nonhuman brain was even more complicated. But that wasn't their fault and the ones who rampaged didn't justify some of the reactions to ones who clearly didn't plan to. 

"They're patchworks," said Bill. "We didn't send _Jägers_." 

...The situation could be worse. "That's good," Klaus said. "But still. Even in a university town, people might--" The Heterodynes were starting to look stormy. "Be less than courteous," Klaus finished. "Quite likely it's nothing worse, but let's go look for them, shall we? We can talk to my landlord afterward." 

They both smiled at him, in a way that looked both warmly friendly and rather anxious. Klaus attached his magnetized groceries to their luggage clank and all three set off. Klaus knew the town; Bill and Barry knew who they were looking for; surprisingly this was enough to find them within the first hour. 

Punch and Judy turned out to be fine, if a little tired and discouraged. Their creators' inexperience showed physically, but there was clearly nothing wrong with their intelligence and they seemed to be some of the nicest people Klaus had ever met. He would not quite have chosen the introduction he got -- Bill greeted them with "Oh, good, you're all right. This is Klaus Wulfenbach; he was worried about you." But they took it well. 

Klaus led them all back toward the building where he'd rented rooms and tried not to feel either guilty or disappointed that there probably _wasn't_ any room left. 

He soon discovered he had other things to worry about. There had been a few dull booms earlier, but he'd assumed they were coming from the university itself. The occasional column of smoke from student residences was often enough no worse than an inconvenience, but this one looked unusually large. And appeared to be on his street. And....

They drew up to the edge of the crowd, and Klaus was able to survey the extent of the damage over everyone's heads. The building was... well, not totally destroyed. The foundation was intact and a few of the lower walls were visible, along with some forlorn-looking plumbing. He sighed and exchanged a rueful look with Punch. "It looks like I may be joining you in the search for new lodgings," he said. "At least temporary ones." 

"Is everyone okay?" Bill asked, going up on tiptoe and bracing himself on Klaus's shoulder. (Klaus glanced back and found Barry scrambling onto the luggage clank.) "Can you tell?"

"I don't see bodies," Klaus said, "and--" He scanned the crowd. "I think I do see most of the people who are supposed to be living here. If it was that noise about twenty minutes ago, anyone injured has probably been taken away for medical care by now, but at this hour it's entirely possible that nobody was inside except for whoever blew it up." 

"It was Funar," said one of the students in front of them, sounding disgusted. Grigore Dalca. Klaus didn't know him well, but he'd come by to put his name down for a room at the end of the previous year. "He's banged up but he'll live."

Klaus blinked. "Wasn't he on the top floor?"

"Yes, and that's all that would have blown if he'd just run instead of trying to pour everything down the drains!" 

"Are the rest of you going to be all right?" Barry put in. "Wasn't your stuff in there?"

Dalca looked past Klaus, evidently focused on the trilobites, and blanched. "Red fire! I mean -- uh -- yes, no, actually it was, I should go and -- um -- look into that and -- excuse me." He shot Klaus a look that suggested he had just been reclassified as sharing Funar's level of prudence and good sense, and fled. 

Bill sighed. "Sorry, that's been happening all day. Friend of yours?"

"Not particularly," said Klaus. "And I hadn't really unpacked yet, so most of my things should still be in a fairly sturdy trunk. Which I should probably look for, but I won't run away from you to do it." 

"Well," said Judy, "that will certainly make it easier to help you look." 

Some salvage efforts had already begun, although people got out of their way rather readily. Klaus made a rough calculation of where his trunk was likely to have landed based on the location of his room and evident pattern of the blast. It was there, with some scrapes in the dirt where someone had apparently tried to move it and given up. Bill tried to lift it before Klaus could stop him and, rather to Klaus's surprise, actually got it off the ground before letting go with a grunt and raised eyebrows. "Whoof. You don't pack light. Want to put that on our clank for now as well?" 

"I _told_ you it was a sturdy trunk," said Klaus. He accepted help moving it, even though he could have managed alone. He usually didn't let anyone else find out how heavy it actually was. "It's possible that we should consider finding an inn. If they're not all full at the moment as well." 

"If they are, we can always camp until we sort out something else," Barry said philosophically. "We'll have to get up earlier to be on time in the mornings, but that's not so bad." 

"Where exactly are you thinking of camping?" Klaus asked dubiously. "Beetleburg defends a certain area beyond its walls, of course, but most of that land is in use and even the farmers live within the walls when they can. You'd have to go far enough out to be effectively in the Wastelands. Never mind getting up earlier, you're not going to get much rest with only four people to take watch."

"It's not so bad," Barry repeated. "Er, for us, anyway. We've done it before; with the right defences it's safe enough. Might be quieter than the town if people keep blowing up their houses."

"You'd be welcome to join us, of course," Bill added, then with a smile, "and I don't mean so you can take a turn on watch. We can mostly automate that." 

He almost wanted to take them up on it just to find out if a Heterodyne camp could really make the Wastelands seem serene. Either by dint of its impressive defences or by comparison. "Thank you. But I think I'll start by finding out the rebuilding plans here. I wouldn't mind speeding them up."

"Maybe we can help?" Barry suggested. 

"Possibly," said Klaus. "It might even get you rooms." Then he looked from the Heterodynes to his rather distraught landlord, now visible clutching his hair near one of the fragments of wall. "Although, would you mind if I talk to him without you first?"

That got him wry grins, and Bill waved him on. Klaus went to speak to Master Bourean; he waited patiently at a distance until the insurance agent walked away, shaking his head, and then began, "I was wondering if I could do anything to--"

"I think you've done enough!" 

Klaus stepped back from the finger jabbing at his chest. "I beg your pardon, I didn't--"

"Oh, not _now_. But all of you! All of this! This is the last straw, I tell you. I'm sick of renting to inconsiderate student Sparks."

"But--"

"If it's not the building blowing up it's psychoactive colors, or noxious odors, or automated music that sets the shutters drumming at three every morning and afternoon --"

"I admit that was annoying--" Klaus tried.

"Or repurposed furniture, or pudding in the plumbing -- I've had it, I tell you!"

"Master Bourean, the _advantage_ to Sparks is that we can help you rebuild more efficiently!" 

"I am not rebuilding!" Master Bourean straightened, voice suddenly cold and calm. "Not this time. I will sell the lot, settle your leases, and move somewhere without _students_."

There was a clamor of protest from every other tenant within earshot -- Klaus was speechless -- and then, from just by his shoulder, "Great!"

Klaus turned in surprise. Master Bourean looked bewildered. "What--"

"I'm Bill Heterodyne." Bill smiled brilliantly and determinedly at Master Bourean and seized his hand to shake, effectively preventing his retreat. "What's your asking price?"

"I -- that is, I --" Master Bourean looked around for help. Nearly everyone within a certain radius was backing away into the people pressing closer to see what was going on. "...Please don't hurt me."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Bill said gravely. "Regardless of your answer. All right? I'm not here to hurt anybody. But if you want to sell your--" He paused to regard what was not at this time precisely either an undeveloped lot or a building. "Property, I'd like to buy it. In fact, I'll pay a premium for an immediate sale." He looked around at Klaus. "Was that his insurer earlier? Could you go see if he's got a documented estimate of how much the property was worth intact, or would his information only account for improvements and not the value of the location?"

Klaus's eyebrows shot up. "Are you telling me that paying full price for a blown-up building is your idea of a premium?"

"I am _really_ tired of apartment hunting." Bill patted Master Bourean's shoulder with his free hand and gave him a hopeful look that Klaus suspected would have melted sterner hearts than his landlord's -- former landlord's -- if they were not terrified at the time. "Or I'd be just as happy to help rebuild it instead, especially with the addition of two extra rooms."

"I'll... go get the agent," Klaus decided. Master Bourean shot him a look of desperation. "Master Bourean, I truly believe you're perfectly safe. I've been with them for nearly two hours, and I'm fine."

Not only was he perfectly safe, but by the time Klaus got back with the rather incredulous insurance agent and, just in case, a reputable lawyer, Master Bourean was seated beside his wife on a complicated unfolding couch that appeared to have been extracted from the Heterodynes' luggage, alongside a glugging and citrus-fragrant clank. Most of the erstwhile tenants were gathered around sharing hot lemonade and drawing up architectural plans. 

Klaus dropped off the relevant personnel, accepted a cup, then picked his way among the crowd and sat down next to Judy, who was perched with Punch on the end of the luggage clank. "Well, this is a change."

She shrugged. "They're very nice when you get to know them." 

"I noticed that." It was very good lemonade, too. "What's the plan?"

"Rebuild, keep renting out to all the same people.... The Boureans really were tired of this, and they're more than a bit rattled now. Bill's likely to expect us to keep everybody in line."

"I didn't think we were _that_ bad." Klaus looked at her thoughtfully. "Do you think you can handle it?"

Judy smiled serenely at him. "You're nothing to Mechanicsburg." 

"Hah." He could believe that. He tossed back the rest of the lemonade. "Ah... Judy... how much do they know about architecture?"

"Some," she said. "I think."

He looked toward the growing scatter of design sketches and glimpsed what appeared to be a skull at the corner of one page. "...I'm going back over there." 

"You do that. They'll appreciate it." 

"Most people hate my critiques, but I'd like the roof not to fall in," Klaus muttered, getting up. 

Judy caught his arm. "Klaus." He looked back. "You were the first stranger to talk to them willingly all day. Brave and sweet. Trust me, they'll appreciate it." 

" _Sweet?_ " Klaus asked, pained, and then caught the mischievous glint in her eye. "Oh, very funny. It was worth it. I'm going." 

She let him go. Bill was immersed in contract negotiations; Barry, busy with the architectural plans, nonetheless spotted Klaus and lit up as he waved him over. Klaus joined him and was immediately handed a pencil, which he rolled between his fingers as he considered ideas. 

They did spend a few nights camping, and a few more maneuvering around cramped hotel rooms, which was particularly awkward because there weren't many of _those_ either. Judy and Punch still got their own room. Klaus got a reputation for inordinate physical modesty because while he was beginning to suspect the Heterodynes wouldn't treat him any differently for being a construct, he still didn't want to advertise it. But by the time a week was up, Master Bourean was living contentedly on the opposite side of town, and the old building was better than before. 

It was also riddled with secret passages and possibly capable of defending the town against a small army should Mr. Tock be in any way discommoded. They _were_ Heterodynes, after all.


End file.
